I was not anticipating the news that I received the day I went to the doctor around 17 1/2 weeks to find out the sex of our child. As the sonographer scanned and showed me the little life that was inside of me, she calmly said, “The baby has 2 choroid plexus cysts on the brain, one on each lobe.”
My heart stopped.
I had no idea what that meant or entailed. Anything that arises as abnormal is completely frightening, especially when it involves your own child that you have dreamt of being totally healthy.
The choroid plexus is the part of the brain that makes cerebrospinal fluid, the fluid that normally bathes and protects the brain and spinal column. We were told that these cysts can be apart of normal development and that 95% of them fully go away on their own, typically by the 3rd trimester. We were also told that if the cysts do not go away by the 3rd trimester, that they were potentially linked with Trisomy 18, Down Syndrome or other concerns.
Just to bring more understanding, “Choroid plexus cysts are present in 1 to 2 percent of normal fetuses. However, in a very small percentage of fetuses with choroid plexus cysts, there is an associated chromosome disorder called trisomy 18. Fetuses with trisomy 18 have an extra copy of chromosome 18. Frequently, fetuses with trisomy 18 are stillborn. Survivors beyond infancy are rare. They have severe mental retardation and a variety of other problems including abnormalities of almost any organ system such as the heart, brain and kidneys. Fetuses with trisomy 18 have choroid plexus cysts about a third of the time. Therefore, when we see choroid plexus cysts, we are concerned that the fetus may have trisomy 18.” (From the USCF Medical Center website)
This news was confusing and scary due to the unknown. I could not wrap my mind around the implications of it all.
I was determined not to fear or worry, but to fully give the situation of Owen’s health to the Lord. Of course, there were moments of pure terror, moments of uncontrollable tears, moments of crying on my husband’s shoulder. I don’t think I have ever learned to pray as desperately in my life before this moment. I went straight to the Word, clinging to the scriptures. I knew that God and His word were my only hope for sanity. I memorized and recited these verses below on a regular basis.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You. Isaiah 26:3
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him. Psalm 127:3
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with My victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10
They (the righteous) will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7
When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3
These verses breathed life into my weary mind. God began to show me that:
- A steadfast, peaceful, fearless mind and heart are a result of a confident trust in God.
- Children are a true gift from Him, regardless of perfect or not so perfect health. He is good and only creates good.
- Do not fear a bad report. Confidently trust in Him.
- God deepens our trust in Him in uncontrollable or seemingly scary situations. May we always choose to rest in Him and resist fearful thinking. He is God and He is good. We can trust everything He does.
The night before our 23-week ultrasound to check on the cysts, I opened my Bible and came across this verse, “Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you.” Psalm 56:22
What an incredible comfort that verse was to me when I read it. Creator God wants me to cast or throw my cares, fears, worries or burdens onto Him, and in turn, His promise it to take care of me. I understood in that moment, that regardless of the good or bad report the next day, that God was going to take care of us, that He was going to take care of me so that I could care for our child.
The day of our ultrasound, I was focused and prayerful. I was just hoping that if the cysts were going to go away, that they would be gone by this appointment. Again, most cysts do not go away until the third trimester, so I knew that medically, there was a good possibility that they would still be there.
During the ultrasound, I was hanging on every word that the technician said. She began looking at his brain and said, “Victoria, there is no trace of the cysts. They are completely gone! It looks like y’all prayed them away!”
I was in utter shock and amazement. The thoughts that flooded my mind were, “God heard my prayer. God answered my prayer! My God works miracles!!!”
I think we were all in amazement that they were gone. Well, except for my husband, probably. A few weeks before, he said, “I know they will be gone by the next ultrasound.” What faith. What belief. What trust.
I wanted to share this story in order to remember God’s healing and glorify His name. He answers prayers. He lifts our burdens. He gives us strength. This situation definitely brought me to my knees, built my trust in God and brought me closer to my husband.
Remember always, God will take care of you.